1-27-01

And I shall call him MINI-MOUSE...

I don't know why I assumed I could go into Radio Shack with a $50 gift certificate and leave with a big bag full of items. I mean, I have more floppy discs than I know what to do with (and how many frisbees does a person need?) I decided to be practical and get a printer cable (yawn and I'll strangle you with it)
'Course no shopping experience is complete without the impulse-buy, in this case, one Radio Shack brand mini-mouse. The thing looked so cute that I couldn't resist. Forget cute. It's sleek. Pewter colored with red lights to please the most demanding Jedi power user. This li'l mouse is optical, no mouse pad required, no mouse ball to dust (yes you're supposed to dust the mouse ball!)  I thought it'd be difficult to maneuver such a tiny input device, but it proved surprisingly easy to use. It's exceptionally sensitive so pointing and clicking is a snap. To note, if you have fingers like a clown, you might be uncomfortable with the ultra-narrow right click button.
Setup was speedy and seamless. The mini-mouse plugs into the USB port and Windows will install the drivers following plug and play detection, no need to reboot. This compact, durable mouse addresses space and portability issues, and is thus geared towards laptop users.  If you despise the obstacle course known as the touch pad, and use a mouse wherever possible, this is the portable peripheral for you.

System requirements:
USB port (being that it's a USB device and all)
Pentium, Win98/98SE/2000 OR Macintosh G3, G4, or iMac, MAC OS 8.5 or later (will probably not work with your toaster but you can't know for sure until you try)

Indications:
Not compatible with Windows 95. Red lights ineffective on Darth Vader, even with his mask off

Weight:
1.6 oz (Hey I know molecules that weigh more)

Warranty:
90 days. Note: "Tampering with the mouse's internal components will invalidate the warranty."  (Incidentally, so will putting it in the toaster. Forget I said that)

Price
$29.99 (oh come on. It's thirty bucks!)

Love it or leave it?
Love it. (I'd kiss it but understand I don't want my lips vaporized)

Possible Misapplication:
Plug it in with your PS/2 mouse and practice keeping the mouse pointer stationery while you move the two mice in opposite directions (I have too much time on my hands)
 

2-2-01

You may know that post-it notes were invented by Arthur Fry of the 3M corporation (thanks Artie! But I still want a pro-rated refund for all the scotch tape I've wasted when I couldn't find the beginning of the roll and consequently had to martyr-shred a few pieces. I can't even begin to tell you how much Saran Wrap owes me) But what you might not know is that the glue used for post-its was formulated by a coworker who was ready to trash it because it wasn't very sticky. Man you can't keep post-it notes in one place if you lay them down flat on a table! If there were truth in advertising, they'd be forced to sell lay-it notes with a paperweight!  More glue I say! I should curse when I step on one! Yes I hate post-it notes. You never notice them, and not just because they fell on the floor and got swept under your desk. I actually found a post-it note the other day. It said "tape final episode of Dynasty." You can imagine my horror. Especially since I can't find the beginning of the tape…

02-09-01

Have you ever had occasion to scan “Woman’s World?” It’s the rag that’s sold at the supermarket checkout aisle. I’m an avid reader of it. What? I’m a woman of the world. Besides, it only costs like a buck. It’s chock full of amazing insights. Such as “What Your Pizza Topping Says About You.” The categories are “novelty, cheese/double cheese, pepperoni/sausage, vegetable.” I fancy myself a pop pizza psychologist and would love the opportunity to tell you what your pizza topping says about you!

NOVELTY
You enjoy grossing out your friends. You will likely display a mouth full of chewed up food and ignore your dinner companion’s protestations that wrapping the pineapple spiked cheese around your finger is “making him lose his appetite.”

CHEESE/DOUBLE CHEESE
You are amazingly tolerant, particularly of lactose. You are also incredibly cheap.

PEPPERONI OR SAUSAGE
You want to kill your father and sleep with your mother. Or vice versa.

VEGGIE
You think cows are cool and factory farming is uncool. You will hold up the pizza place to protest the use of paper napkins. Ironically you do not hold paper money in similar ill repute.

Extra Extra Cheese
On the opposite page of Woman’s World there was some fantastic humor that I’d like to share with you.
Where do people go dancing in California?
Give up?
San Frandisco!
That has to be a great joke after your fifth Martini. Get it? San Frandisco. The only reason you’re not laughing is because their strobe lights have gone out!
 

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