And I shall call him MINI-MOUSE...
I don't know why I assumed
I could go into Radio Shack with a $50 gift certificate and leave with
a big bag full of items. I mean, I have more floppy discs than I know what
to do with (and how many frisbees does a person need?) I decided to be
practical and get a printer cable (yawn and I'll strangle you with it)
'Course no shopping experience
is complete without the impulse-buy, in this case, one Radio Shack brand
mini-mouse. The thing looked so cute that I couldn't resist. Forget cute.
It's sleek. Pewter colored with red lights to please the most demanding
Jedi power user. This li'l mouse is optical, no mouse pad required, no
mouse ball to dust (yes you're supposed to dust the mouse ball!)
I thought it'd be difficult to maneuver such a tiny input device, but it
proved surprisingly easy to use. It's exceptionally sensitive so pointing
and clicking is a snap. To note, if you have fingers like a clown, you
might be uncomfortable with the ultra-narrow right click button.
Setup was speedy and seamless.
The mini-mouse plugs into the USB port and Windows will install the drivers
following plug and play detection, no need to reboot. This compact, durable
mouse addresses space and portability issues, and is thus geared towards
laptop users. If you despise the obstacle course known as the touch
pad, and use a mouse wherever possible, this is the portable peripheral
for you.
System requirements:
USB port (being that it's
a USB device and all)
Pentium, Win98/98SE/2000 OR
Macintosh G3, G4, or iMac, MAC OS 8.5 or later (will probably not work
with your toaster but you can't know for sure until you try)
Indications:
Not compatible with Windows
95. Red lights ineffective on Darth Vader, even with his mask off
Weight:
1.6 oz (Hey I know molecules
that weigh more)
Warranty:
90 days. Note: "Tampering
with the mouse's internal components will invalidate the warranty."
(Incidentally, so will putting it in the toaster. Forget I said that)
Price
$29.99 (oh come on. It's thirty
bucks!)
Love it or leave it?
Love it. (I'd kiss it but
understand I don't want my lips vaporized)
Possible Misapplication:
Plug it in with your PS/2
mouse and practice keeping the mouse pointer stationery while you move
the two mice in opposite directions (I have too much time on my hands)
2-2-01
You may know that post-it notes were invented by Arthur Fry of the 3M corporation (thanks Artie! But I still want a pro-rated refund for all the scotch tape I've wasted when I couldn't find the beginning of the roll and consequently had to martyr-shred a few pieces. I can't even begin to tell you how much Saran Wrap owes me) But what you might not know is that the glue used for post-its was formulated by a coworker who was ready to trash it because it wasn't very sticky. Man you can't keep post-it notes in one place if you lay them down flat on a table! If there were truth in advertising, they'd be forced to sell lay-it notes with a paperweight! More glue I say! I should curse when I step on one! Yes I hate post-it notes. You never notice them, and not just because they fell on the floor and got swept under your desk. I actually found a post-it note the other day. It said "tape final episode of Dynasty." You can imagine my horror. Especially since I can't find the beginning of the tape…
02-09-01
Have you ever had occasion to scan “Woman’s World?” It’s the rag that’s sold at the supermarket checkout aisle. I’m an avid reader of it. What? I’m a woman of the world. Besides, it only costs like a buck. It’s chock full of amazing insights. Such as “What Your Pizza Topping Says About You.” The categories are “novelty, cheese/double cheese, pepperoni/sausage, vegetable.” I fancy myself a pop pizza psychologist and would love the opportunity to tell you what your pizza topping says about you!
NOVELTY
You enjoy grossing out your
friends. You will likely display a mouth full of chewed up food and ignore
your dinner companion’s protestations that wrapping the pineapple spiked
cheese around your finger is “making him lose his appetite.”
CHEESE/DOUBLE CHEESE
You are amazingly tolerant,
particularly of lactose. You are also incredibly cheap.
PEPPERONI OR SAUSAGE
You want to kill your father
and sleep with your mother. Or vice versa.
VEGGIE
You think cows are cool and
factory farming is uncool. You will hold up the pizza place to protest
the use of paper napkins. Ironically you do not hold paper money in similar
ill repute.
Extra Extra Cheese
On the opposite page of Woman’s
World there was some fantastic humor that I’d like to share with you.
Where do people go dancing
in California?
Give up?
San Frandisco!
That has to be a great joke
after your fifth Martini. Get it? San Frandisco. The only reason you’re
not laughing is because their strobe lights have gone out!
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