I have no one to love with my heart, mind, spirit, flesh, and "neck massager." (that's what it is.)  People are dumb, dull, soul-less, and lack integrity. I can insult you. It's my webpage. I can insult anyone I want.
I am awesome. (well I'm not going to insult myself!) My heart is as empty as a pint of Ben N Jerrys Cherry Garcia (what? You're not going to eat that? Pass it over here. And don't you be picking out any chunks)
Lost and lonely, I didn't want to fade into a crowd of party-ers, all of whom would feel lost and lonely until the 7th glass of champagne.
I also didn't want to spend my time with anyone who I was not on solid ground with (every person I know is an earthquake...whereas I am a light autumn leaf floating slowly in a brook. True, others have called me a tsunami but I don't even like sushi. And I'm all American! Check out my red white and blue card. Well why would it be green!). So I thought about it long and hard and ultimately decided that I should re-establish an old tie for the special night.
I spent my New Years with the one who took up the most of my time during the nineties. My best friend from kindergarden was unavailable. All that's left of her is the amazing portrait I rendered using only cheap gooey paint and my masterful fingers. Honestly, I didn't like her anyway. I remember I showed her how to draw a fancy "W" and she was oh so impressed. Then two seconds later she gets mad at me for scribbling on her paper. So I turned the "W" upside down and insisted it looked like a flying bird. She agreed and was excited to finish the picture. Which would have been nothing without my "W", or flying bird, rather.
If you would like a copy of my fancy "W", send a check or money order for...
So anyway, this is Ben, my pre-millenium partner in crimes (Why do we get so annoyed at repeat offenders. What happened to "If at first you don't succeed"?)
Talk To The Hand

 reload page 1       2       3       4       5       6       end