I have no one to love with my heart, mind,
spirit, flesh, and "neck massager." (that's what it is.) People are
dumb, dull, soul-less, and lack integrity. I can insult you. It's my webpage.
I can insult anyone I want.
I am awesome. (well I'm not going to insult
myself!) My heart is as empty as a pint of Ben N Jerrys Cherry Garcia (what?
You're not going to eat that? Pass it over here. And don't you be picking
out any chunks)
Lost and lonely, I didn't want to fade into
a crowd of party-ers, all of whom would feel lost and lonely until the
7th glass of champagne.
I also didn't want to spend my time with anyone who I was not on solid ground with (every person I know is an earthquake...whereas I am a light autumn leaf floating slowly in a brook. True, others have called me a tsunami but I don't even like sushi. And I'm all American! Check out my red white and blue card. Well why would it be green!). So I thought about it
long and hard and ultimately decided that I should re-establish an old
tie for the special night.
I spent my New Years with the one who took
up the most of my time during the nineties. My best friend from kindergarden
was unavailable. All that's left of her is the amazing portrait
I rendered using only cheap gooey paint and my masterful fingers. Honestly, I didn't like her anyway. I remember I showed her how to
draw a fancy "W" and she was oh so impressed. Then two seconds later she gets
mad at me for scribbling on her paper. So I turned the "W" upside down
and insisted it looked like a flying bird. She agreed and was excited
to finish the picture. Which would have been nothing without my "W", or flying
If you would like a copy of my fancy "W", send
a check or money order for...
So anyway, this is Ben, my pre-millenium partner
in crimes (Why do we get so annoyed at repeat offenders. What happened
to "If at first you don't succeed"?)
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