I am too tired to break up the pictures. So you just sit tight and wait
for them to load. Didn't I tell you to get cable or DSL?
OK...get cable or DSL
This is the big duck. It's a Hamptons landmark. As you can plainly see,
it is big and it is a duck so no misnomer there.
There are alot of duck farms out on the South Fork of the Island. Naive
animal-loving person that I am, I just assumed people kept pet ducks. Then
one day I turn on the Food Channel and they're profiling Long Island duck
farms. There was no one throwing a stick and telling a duck to fetch. I
was crushed. How can you eat a duck? And how can you eat a rabbit for that
matter? Eat Elmer Fudd! I don't like him. He's weally mean.
This is me recently. Either theres dirt on my lip or I need to windex my scanner. For the record, I do have a mole on the lower right of my lip. My mother once tried to remove it with a needle (love you too mom!) and people have grabbed at it asking "what is that?" "It's a contagious boil, psych!" (I hate the word 'boil', Im sorry I subjected you to it). Its just a small little mole. This one dermatologist used to pester me to take it off. That whole precancerous thing. Believe me if it suddenly became fluorescent and started growing I'd have it taken off. But otherwise I dont see a point. Im not much of a sunbather (can you tell) and I'm covered in beauty marks and moles (it just means I'm beautiful and moleyful) Now you can feel free to laugh at the fluorescent patch of hair on my head (means I'm the lead gremlin!)A couple of weeks ago I decided my tresses needed blonding and I went the DIY (dye? die?) route, despite the innumerable times in the past that this hasn't worked for me. Quick chemistry lesson, to really lift out color (which is what youre doing when you blonde), you need strong peroxide, you need heat, and alot of patience (over the counter stuff takes longer) So anyway I go right to the beauty parlor same day to correct my mess, only they make it worse. So I went back again. Its very hard to highlight over highlights and they had to cover it with brown (made me feel like I was in a boardgame moving backwards) I realize no one will sympathize with my ordeal sitting under a hairdryer for hours listening to my hair sizzle but Im here to tell you that certain things you should not try at home. Until such time as you forget what happened the last time you tried it at home. And blondes have more fun my ass!
My older brothers. I'm the youngest. That means I could like stab one of them and my parents wouldn't yell at me.
This is an old picture of me. Black and white rulz! (because then it doesnt matter what color your hair is) I love this photo. I cannot duplicate this expression, without giggling anyway. It's like the Damien Omen seduction look.
Isn't this a great photo of Tony? And doesn't he have great teeth? And doesn't the pillow on the right really match my sofa well? The leopard number isn't too coordinated but I liked it. Just so you know, I never ate a leopard in my life.
Tony is skilled on the guitar. He has a good musical ear. He's perfected "In My Life" (All My Life?) but it's a little annoying the 1038th time. Now that George H is dead, I'm sure I'll be subjected to the 1039th. His "I Walk The Line" needs work (shutup, that's cool country, if there is such a thing!) but he was just doing it on the fly. And he wrote his own song which is very catchy. He titled it "I've Had Trouble With Your Kind Before", it's basically a misguided self-righteous girl bashing tune but that's so perfect for the guitar. I happen to know Tony really well so I advised him to title his first album "Pot Calls Kettle Black" Incidentally, Tony is the voice behind my melodic answering machine message. "Ooh yeah Debbie's not home, please leave a message at the sound of the tone..." I am not making this up, call my machine! The lyrics are skimpy but the beat kind of grows on you. Does anyone remember that tv commercial that advertised musical answering machine messages, back when answering machines became popular? There was one that was hilarious....It would sing "Nobody's home, nobody's home" in sync with the chords of Beethoven's Fifth. Of course then there was another one that was pseudo rap, very sad indeed... "wait for the beep. you got ta leave your name, you got ta leave your number" and there was beatboxing in the background. OK now everyone thinks I ordered this tape. The only things I ever ordered off of TV were a couple of cheap exercise contraptions (wishful thinking) and a hands-free cell kit (they'll pull your ass over now and cite you for having hands)
America's son!
I just ordered these patriotic panties. Really. No, not off of TV. I would never, the shipping on tv products is like a minimum of $100,000. See, this is how I show my support for the greatest country in the world. U.S.A underwear! (funderwear?) Star and stripes forever! (I'm still not going to leave this in the dryer too long)