----Original Message Follows----
Subject: A quickie ...
Date: Sun, 21 Apr 2002 01:47:47 EDT
In a message dated 4/20/2002 4:51:21 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
A quickie poll for the most ravishing single girl I know ;)
1. Your just-married girlfriend is visiting for the weekend on a mission to
get you coupled off. Where do the two of you go on your "manhunt"?
A poetry reading at the local coffee house
Dancing at your favorite nightclub
A museum benefit
A major league baseball game
---------hrm. I'd rather go to the game but #2 is the best bet. Baseball games are great for guy-watching. In general, I opt to show up late because the games can be so slow but I'm always on time in the summer. I'm not willing to miss 5 seconds of men without shirts. Ok sure alot of them look like the "only in NY" crew but it's all entertaining. There have been times I was oh so distracted by bare backs I couldn't concentrate on the play. Then there's all that cursing and grrr-ing. Aint a day that goes by that I don't thank the good Lord that you're all made of snakes n snails n puppy dog tails. Hallelujah!
2. Which of these pickup lines is most likely to work on you?
Your place or mine?
How do you stay in such great shape?
Read any good books lately?
What do you do for fun?
-----------It might work if a guy approached me, asked that same question, and then recited all the lines! But otherwise, out of this dismal set of choices, I'm going to have to go with #2. I like a man who knows what to lie about.
3. You're on a dinner date. When the waiter comes to take your order, you
hope the guy you're with:
Wants to share some of your favorite dishes
Orders for you, from appetizer through dessert -- you get a kick out of
old-fashioned, man-in-command behavior
Has a big appetite -- the portions look huge and you'll never finish yours
Asks you what you would like
-------------Um, a,c, and d. Only #2 leaves me cold. Unless my date is a psychic. What if he orders me oysters and I'm allergic to shellfish? Just trying to get me horny, I'm wise to the scheme!
4. In an effort to get out and meet guys, you sign up to volunteer for a
local politician's campaign. Your first day on the job, you take a look
around and head straight for the:
Door -- you'll have better luck joining a coed softball league
--------------this is such a no brainer. Guys shmuys. #1. Curiously, is there a "won't shut the fuck up" committee?
5. A first-date goodnight kiss can make you say yes to seeing the guy again
Lands right on your lips -- you don't want to be left wondering whether or
not the guy wants to see you again
Is accompanied by a high-five
Is planted gingerly on your cheek, followed by a gentle squeeze of your
Is sweet and somewhat teasing and shows off his playful personality
--------------I dont like any of these but fortunately, I don't mind leading. Thats why my kissing booth doesn't say "kissing booth", instead the sign reads "tutorial."
6. You invite the new man you've been seeing to your family's house for a
Sunday afternoon barbecue. If he's the kind of guy you think he is, he:
Offers to man the grill -- he makes a mean burger
Effortlessly makes conversation with everyone, including your oh-so-dull
Plants himself right in front of the TV to watch football with the rest of
the fans in the house
Brings flowers for both you and your mother
-----------------If a guy could do all this, he'd score huge with me but really if he could spend time with my family and leave with his sanity intact, I'd say he was way ahead of the game. In fact, I'd love to know his secret.
7. You're at the video store looking for a flick for your date with Ben and
Jerry. Suddenly you find yourself inviting over a guy who just rented:
Sense and Sensibility
Something About Mary
------------Um, I have to be practical here. I havent seen 3 of the 4 listed. I already saw "Something About Mary" in the theatre and a couple of times on cable, it was funny but it's not a movie I'd want to watch 1000 times, I heard the Firm was awful so forget that, maybe Tin Cup, but I think I'd prefer Sense and Sensibility, which means Tin Cup because no guy is going to sit through Sense and Sensibility with me. I'm just using my sense and sensibility here. Of course maybe Im misunderstanding the question. My kind of guy rents Debbie Does Dallas. He's into Debbies.
8. When the guy you've been seeing asks you to be his date for a wedding, you
look at this as:
A sign he knows you're the one
A challenge to see if you can keep up with him on the dance floor
A gesture that he wants a commitment but is too scared to show it
An opportunity to meet and party with his friends
--------------he can't stand weddings as much as I can't stand weddings and wants me to suffer too. He'll do me a favor and hire a hooker.
9. You and a coworker are cruising the halls checking out the company's
recent hires. You're most likely to slow down and take notice of:
A huddle of laughing coworkers
The executive dining room
The Nerf basketball area
---------------Definitely #1. Immediately i join in the conversation about how much the job sucks and what losers all the workers in the executive dining, nerf basketball, and library area are.
10. If your life were being made into a made-for-TV movie, you would want
your leading man to be a:
--------------Harrison Ford/Brendan Fraser-type or I'm not selling the rights.
OK they blew this one: Harrison Ford-type should be here!
-------------this is why you're my agent!
"So what am I supposed to do? ...Go up to some strange girl in biology class and ask if she could take her clothes off and jump on top of me?" "I would."
"I can see it all now, this is gonna be just like last summer. You fell in love with that girl at the Fotomat, you bought forty dollars worth of fuckin' film, and you never even talked to her. You don't even own a camera."
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Home is where the heart is (all my other junk's there too)