Today is my birthday too, according to the Edict of Debbie's Birthday
This particular edict heralds back to medieval times. The beautiful Princess Debbievere was married to a powerful king, who really wasn't much to look at but that's how it was back then, arranged marriages...but she got some cool clothes out of it. And everyone in the kingdom but the king knew she was banging the Wizard's son, total hottie, actually he was missing eight teeth and his entire face was kinda cockeyed but he had cast a spell, and for all practical purposes, to the naked, unspell-removed eye, he was a total hottie. One day, which incidentally was the day after Debbievere's birthday, the king's bravest knight returned from battle, and his army told tales of the Knight's resolute bravery in the face of seemingly impossible odds, he charged past the enemy's 15 best horsemen, barely escaping with his life, and returning with 97% of the gold supply he had liberated from the castle coffers. The king was greatly impressed.
Debbievere, however, was not.
She pointed a stern finger at the gallant knight and ordered, "Well you better get your ass back in there and get the other three precent! I'm not playing! I'll take that sword of yours right now, stick it straight up your nose, pull out your brain and eat it fer dinner at the roundtable...
...that's a good boy, GO, GO, GO! Yay Team! NOT TWO PERCENT!...Toodle Oo...Godspeed!"
The edict of Debbie's birthday, stating that everyone must also celebrate the day after Debbie's birthday, was issued no more than five minutes later
The Birthday Girl 4/18/02
I know I need to wash my hair and looking directly into the computercam would've been nice too. The only reason I didn't wash my hair is because I'm getting it highlighted tonight and you're not supposed to wash it. It's true. Call up my colorist. And don't give me a lecture on how blondes don't have more fun. They do. Because they're too dumb to realize when they're not having fun but still...
I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.
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