Top Ten Reasons Three Quarters of the World Doesn’t Want to Believe Yasser Arafat Is a Terrorist

1- Yasser’s got a Nobel Peace Prize. That’s the Oscar of non-terrorism, dude

2- It is the will of Allah.

3- He’s bearded. That’d be like calling Santa Claus a terrorist. Wait, Osama Bin Laden is bearded. Forget I said this.

3- He’s a changed man! Everything but the outfit he wore to the Oslo accords.*

4- Would Colin Powell meet with a terrorist?

5- All of the evidence against him, right down to his own words, has been manufactured. And as we all know if it doesn’t fit, you must acquit.

6- Terrorism is fighting freedom, excuse me, I meant to say freedom fighting, Like my idol Arafat, I routinely get these two confused.

7- He’s been thrown of out Jordan and Lebanon. The man is clearly being persecuted.

8- The United Nations whose power structure is non-democratic and seats enough consistent human rights violators to give them all something to talk about for the next 400 years, well they have given General Arafat their signature of approval

9- He’s putting an end to the misery and hopelessness and oppression of young boys and girls at the hands of the inferior, hooked-nosed, locust-swarming, media-owning, world-dominating,blood-letting, fascist, racist,  barbaric, Jesus-killing, colonizing Nazi** Jews by sending them to blow themselves up. So technically, he is putting an end to the misery hopelessness and oppression of young boys and girls.

10- All he wants is the destruction of Israel followed by the murder of any remaining Christians followed by the Pan Arabic holy war against the Western world and once these reasonable demands are met, no more terror! Except against his own people which doesn’t count because it’s “necessary state action against violent insurgents and infidels”

*this is not a slam using absurd Arab stereotypes, it’s personal. Arafat has been derided for his unkemptness and he has said he’s proud of it, shows he’s been hard at work. Fighting freedom. (see #6)
** I’m sorry if I left anything out. I haven’t read Al-Jazirah, Al-Riyadh, Al-Ahram or Al-Hayat Al-Jadida lately.

Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40 years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil!
Golda Meir

To say that war is madness is like saying that sex is madness: true enough, from the standpoint of a stateless eunuch, but merely a provocative epigram for those who must make their arrangements in the world as given.
John Updike

How is the world ruled and led to war? Diplomats lie to journalists and believe these lies when they see them in print.
Karl Kraus

One of the most fashionable notions of our times is that social problems like poverty and oppression breed wars. Most wars, however, are started by well-fed people with time on their hands to dream up half-baked ideologies or grandiose ambitions, and to nurse real or imagined grievances.
Thomas Sowell

There is no avoiding war; it can only be postponed to the advantage of others.
Niccolo Machiavelli

The justest dispositions possible in ourselves, will not secure us against it [war]. It would be necessary that all other nations were just also. Justice indeed, on our part, will save us from those wars which would have been produced by a contrary disposition. But how can we prevent those produced by the wrongs of other nations? By putting ourselves in a condition to punish them. Weakness provokes insult and injury, while a condition to punish often prevents them.
Thomas Jefferson

A tyrant...is always stirring up some war or other, in order that the people may require a leader.

Tyrants have always some slight shade of virtue; they support the laws before destroying them.

We have a solution for war. It is to expand the sphere of liberty.
Rudolph Rummel

Neutrality only helps the oppressor, never the victim.
Elie Weisel

Rebellion without truth is like spring in a bleak, arid desert.
Kahlil Gibran

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
Leo Tolstoy

Martyrdom has always been a proof of the intensity, never of the correctness of a belief.
Arthur Schnitzler

Nobody dies nowadays of fatal truths: there are too many antidotes to them.
Friedrich Nietzsche

“Though Israel may often be deserving of criticism, what is missing is the comparable criticism of equal or greater violations by other countries and other groups. This constant, often legitimate criticism of Israel for every one of its deviations, when coupled with the absence of legitimate criticism of others, creates the impression currently prevalent on university campuses and in the press that Israel is among the worst human rights violators in the world....it is not true, but if it is repeated often enough, it takes on a reality of its own.”
Alan Dershowitz

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
Abba Eban

One should never put on one's best trousers to go out to battle for freedom and truth.
Henrik Ibsen


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